Preschool | The Goddard School®

Posts Tagged ‘Preschool’

Separation Anxiety

Friday, May 28th, 2010

Separation anxiety is a common element of early childhood development. Though it is a perfectly normal, it can be upsetting to parents and children.

Separation anxiety typically begins around a child’s first birthday and can persist until the child is two-and-a-half years old. It is important to note that a child’s unwillingness to leave a parent is actually a positive sign of a healthy parent/child relationship.

The following strategies may help families manage separation anxiety:

Practice being apart from one other and introduce new people and places slowly. Make a few visits to your preschool/childcare center before your scheduled start date. This allows your child to adjust to the idea that you and he will be away from one another.

Explain how long it will be before you will return. Use concepts that your child will understand (e.g., at lunch or after naptime). It is extremely important that you follow through on your promises. You should return when you say you will.

Be calm and consistent. Resist the urge to run back to your child at the sight of her tears. It’s as essential to create a ‘separation routine’ as it is to reassure your child that you will return. Work with your child’s teacher to establish this routine and have confidence that your child’s teacher has the ability to handle the situation. After you’ve said your goodbyes, most teachers will probably engage your child in an activity or with a toy so you can depart.

For your sake, establish a time to call the school to check on your child’s well-being. By the time you make this call, your child will most likely have calmed down and adjusted to the day’s routine.

You may also want to check with your school’s policy regarding a doll or blanket from home. These comfort items may assist with transitions.

Tags: Early childhood development, Preschool, Separation Anxiety, Toddlers
Posted in Development, Parents, Tips, parenting | No Comments »

Michele Borba: How to Choose a Quality Child Care

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

by Dr. Michele Borba
Reality Check: Blogging About Parenting Issues and the Solutions to Solve Them
Posted on May 14, 2010

OK, you’ve read the results. You recognize know that the study says the key to reap academic and behavior gains for your child’s success is to find a QUALITY care giver. Of course you want a great day care for your child. But how do you know which facility is the best one for your child? How do you know which is a quality care facility? My strongest recommendation: Observe a few. And always observe when children are there. It will help you decide if it’s a place you want your child to spend part of his or her day.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself and the staff in making your final decision:

1. Does this seem like a place my child would like to be?
Use your instinct on this one. Can you see your child fitting in and being comfortable in this environment? Are the children enjoying themselves? Do they appear to be happy and active? Is there a variety of activities that are age-appropriate for the children? You know your child better than anyone, so rely on your instincts.

2. Are there rich, interactive language experiences?
Watch the staff interaction with the children closely. Are they talking with the children? Are the children communicating with the staff? Are there rich language experiences and if so are they “hands-on” (not just paper and pencil)? For instance, is the staff reading, speaking, listening to the children? Are there outings, art, dress up, and play type of activities in which children can communicate with peers? Is there a television and if so, is it being used as a “baby sitter”?

3. Is the staff knowledgeable about child development?
Ask the staff what their philosophy about early childhood education is (don’t worry if you don’t know their answer – make sure they have one). Ask how the staff is trained in child development and how frequently? How many of the staff are credentialed in early childhood education? How do they stay current on the latest child development research (such as this study)? What is the educational background and credentials of the supervisor?

4. What is the daily schedule?
There should be a consistent daily structure where children know what is expected. Is there a balance between physical activities and quieter ones? Watch the children. Are they doing the kinds of activities your child would enjoy doing? There must be rich language experiences and activities that stimulate cognitive growth to reap those gains. Make sure children are actively engaged in creative play, interacting with adults, and are not just sitting and doing paper and pencil tasks. Make sure the television is not used as a baby sitter! Then visualize your child in this setting: Is this a good match for your child’s needs, temperament and abilities?

5. What is the ratio between staff and children?
It’s always best to have a smaller number of staff to children. You want to make sure your child is being closely watched. You also want to make sure there is positive interaction (face-to-face!!) between that caregiver and your child.

6. Is the staff “kid friendly?”
Watch the interaction between the staff and children. Do they enjoy kids? Are they patient and kid-oriented? Are they respectful towards them? And (most importantly) do the children appear to enjoy the staff? The “kid friendly” rule has always been the one I was the pickiest about when choosing a school for my own children. A key to the study was that a “High Quality Caregiver” was warm, supportive and provided quality cognitive stimulation. Watch for those traits!

7. What is the discipline policy?
Ask what their discipline approach is for inappropriate children’s behavior – especially for hitting or biting. Ask, “How do you deal with aggressive children?” Make sure they have a thought-out plan and you agree with their plan. Watch how the children interact with one another: are they caring or aggressive? If you witness an aggressive child, how does the staff respond? The NIH report found that the longer a child was in day care the more likely he would be impulsive at age 15. Habits are formed early. Make sure the facility has a proactive approach to behavior and knows how to replace acting out, aggressive behaviors with more appropriate ones.

8. Is the Day Care within my budget?
Are there any additional costs for the program such as materials or transportation? Find out the entire budget. Is it worth the cost?

9. Will my child fit in and be safe here?
Is it well gated? Are electrical sockets covered? Are fire extinguishers available? How well are they equipped to deal with accidents? Is the staff trained in CPR? Hopefully, there will never be a safety issue, but a good day care makes sure that children’s safety is a primary focus. What do you when my child or other children are ill? Find out what the policy is when children are ill at the center. Is there a supervised location where they can be removed from the other children? Could I see my child in this facility or with this care giver? Is this a place where he would fit in, feel comfortable and thrive? (Use your instinct! Get into the shoes of your child and see the caregiver or facility from your child’s eyes!)

10. Does the staff share the same values as I do?
These people will be sharing their lives with your child, so you want them to hopefully share a few similar values. Think through what are your core beliefs about raising your child and watch to see if the staff models them. For instance: Are they respectful? Do they require children to be courteous and are they courteous to children? Are they dressed neat and appropriately?

For more parenting strategies on this and 101 other issues refer to my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. You can also follow me on twitter @MicheleBorba and subscribe to my daily blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check on my website, MicheleBorba.

Tags: Choosing a child care, Early childhood development, Michele Borba, Preschool, The Goddard School
Posted in Ask the Expert, Preschool | No Comments »

Michele Borba: Study Finds Impact of Child Care on Teens

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

by Dr. Michele Borba
Reality Check: Blogging About Parenting Issues and the Solutions to Solve Them
Posted on May 14, 2010

Over 2.3 million American kids under five are cared for at day care centers. If you’re like most parents, I’m sure you’ve pondered the age-old question: “What impact does child care have on my child? Now there’s an answer.

A federally funded study by the Early Child Care Research Network just released results that will have parents and educators alike on alert.

I shared those results with Ann Curry this morning on the TODAY show. Here are key discoveries from this fascinating research:

Since 1991 researchers have been tracking over 1364 families. Children in the study were randomly selected at birth (all born within 24 hours of each other) from 10 different American locations and have been followed since one month of age. Upper, middle, and lower income families were represented. Investigators examined how differences among families, children and child care arrangements might be correlated to their health as well as intellectual, social and emotional development. The children were evaluated periodically, most recently at age 15, with a host of measures. The study is significant because it is first to track children representing all demographics and incomes a full decade after they left child care.

Key Findings Parents and Educators Should Know

As the researchers point out, “Parents have far more influence on children’s growth and development than any type child care they receive.”

Academic and behavior gains from child care that endured until age 15 were slightly higher when children were involved with “high quality child caregivers.” High quality is defined as caregivers who warm, supportive and provide high quality cognitive stimulation.

Teens who were in high-quality child care settings before age 5 scored higher on measures of academic and cognitive achievement.

Specific academic areas (in order) that showed the highest gains at age 15: Reading, Vocabulary, Verbal Analogies, and Math.

Teen also reported fewer acting-out behaviors than peers who were in lower-quality child care arrangements during their early years.

Teens who spent more hours in child care in their first 4½ years of life reported a greater tendency toward impulsiveness and risk-taking behaviors (taking drugs, smoking, and alcohol) at age 15 than did peers who spent less time in child care.

More than a decade after parents stopped those day care payments the behavior differences were still evident.

Though differences in these measures among the youth were deemed small, researchers still considered them significant since the gains latest until age 15. Translation: high quality care giving in the early years affects children’s social, academic, and behavioral development in the teen years.

For parenting strategies and 101 other issues refer to my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. You can also follow me on twitter @MicheleBorba and subscribe to my daily blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check on my website, MicheleBorba.

Tags: Child care, Early Child Care Research Network, Michele Borba, NICHD, Preschool
Posted in Ask the Expert, Preschool | No Comments »

Play and Learning

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Excerpt from Me, Myself and I, by Kyle D. Pruett, M.D.

For most parents, children’s play is just that and no more – diversion or entertainment. Kids do seem to like it after all, and their pleasure in devoting hours to play, make-believe, and following their imaginations is usually obvious.

But to think that play matters only in so far as it brings pleasure is to miss the forest through the trees. Play is ultimately about learning. And all play is educational play. One of the interesting findings in a recent poll conducted by Zero to Three, National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families, is that many parents don’t fully appreciate the connection between play and cognition. According to the poll, parents of young children significantly underestimate the power that play has in enriching a child’s learning competence. Furthermore, they thought their role as play partner was much less important than it was a learning partner. Not true.

The reason that children love to play is precisely because it does mean something. They come to it very naturally from the beginning months of their life. In fact, a vast amount of a child’s total learning comes through play, both alone and with you. What are some of the things children learn through play?

Blocks - Boy B

Children learn what is soft and hard, cold and warm, scratchy or smooth, as they touch and manipulate everything within reach.

Children learn what is heavy and light, as they heft and fling things about their world.

Children learn what is sour and sweet, as they mouth, suck, and drool their way through everyday life.

Children learn what is quiet and loud, pleasing and raucous, as they scream and coo, or rub and smash.

Children learn what works and doesn’t work, as they pull and push, fit, stack, and destroy.

One of the most important things they learn through all this tireless trial and error is how to connect events, feelings, thoughts, and learning together into experience and to file it away in their brains under certain symbols. This all starts to happen well before they have command of spoken language. Simply stated, through play, children learn to symbolize their experience.

The enrichment of learning by play, and vice versa, also holds for the quality of the child’s relationships. Research tells us that kids who are securely attached to their caregivers are better players and hence, by our reasoning, better learners. Children who have received consistent high-quality care, both emotionally and physically, who are talked to and listened to, and who have observed those around them involved in respectful interpersonal relationships carry their security – their self-confidence and feelings of self-worth – into play with others.

Tags: Learning through Play, Play and learning, Preschool
Posted in Development, Dr. Kyle Pruett, Learning through Play | 1 Comment »

Training your Toddler for the Toilet

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Excerpt from Me, Myself and I

Dramatic Play - Girl

Purgatory Dallas

At first, it probably appears to the child that it is the toilet that’s being trained (hence the misnomer “toilet training”). After all, she is typically reasonably satisfied to fill her diaper and continue on about her business. It is parents who are so enthusiastic for her to move on to the pot in support of public health.

The transition need not be Armageddon if parents remember that a body is more ready for the mind to influence its conduct when development has prepared both. Consequently, toilet training takes less time and energy when your toddler is as ready as you are. Starting too early pretty much guarantees the process will be long and messy. Many children who begin training before 18 months are not completely trained by age four, while those started around two usually are completely trained by age three.

Timing: Somewhere between 18 and 36 months, the child will start to notice that her dirty diaper has become a bother. She may pull at her diaper or crotch while, or just before, she empties her bladder. She’ll pick a favorite corner of a room or go under a table before she quietly moves her bowels into her diaper. These are critical signs that she is making the necessary mental connection between bodily sensations and the urine or stool that is produced from them. It is easier if this behavior follows the easing of the extreme negativism of early toddlerhood. Bowel training is typically the first goal.

What Helps: Put a potty in the corner of her room and let her sit on it fully clothed at first, then without a diaper, a few times a day. Tell her how big people go poop and pee and let her watch a grownup using the toilet. (Stick to same sex demonstrators. Otherwise, you will create needless confusion at this age.) Tell her the potty is where she will put her poop when she is ready. Then, she can wear “big girl” pants and leave her diapers for babies. Let her play with her potty using dolls, water, whatever – the less mystery the better.

How to Proceed: Between one of these signaling behaviors and the event itself, ask – in a gently curious way – if she wants to take off her diaper and sit on the potty. If the answer is no, forget it. You will have many more chances. If she says yes, stay with her while she sits, and praise her if she “produces” (not too lavishly, however. Remember, this is her body to master, not yours.) If your child doesn’t seem to be “getting it,” don’t force her to sit on the potty. Instead stay mildly interested and uncritical. If you change her diaper a few times and find solid stool, drop it into the potty with her to remind her of the real deal.

Expect accidents, and that they will upset your child. If you’re even more upset, you’re probably pushing too hard. Sustain your child’s self-regard by reassuring that: “We all have accidents while we learn to use the potty. Let’s go get some dry pants.” Also, expect a longer, slower process for staying dry. Girls usually don’t learn day-dryness until after three, and boys learn even later.

Tags: Potty training, Preschool, Toilet training
Posted in Tips, parenting | No Comments »

Biting

Friday, March 5th, 2010

Why does a nearly universal event in a child’s development evoke such strong feelings? Odds are – as children we were either a biter or a victim – and often both. Plus, biting hurts and frightens us a lot. And though we know aggression is a normal part of development, regular cruelty is not, and we fear the connection between the two.

Some thoughts to help us manage:

When children first bite, it is often their mother while breast-feeding, and their motive is most probably curiosity – not aggression. Mothers should send the following message to their infant: “Ouch, no and if you bite, you lose the breast – end of discussion.”

Biting often begins as exploration, but may be quickly associated with out-of-control feelings or feelings of being overwhelmed – with excitement, fear or curiosity. Parents should manage these feelings by staying as calm as possible and firmly saying:
- “No one likes biting, especially me.”
- “You just cannot bite.”
- “I’ll help you stop until you stop yourself.”

Parents often fear biting at school most. Peers, especially close ones, are fascinated by each other’s aggression, and the dramatic reactions it evokes. Adult overreaction just makes things more exciting! Experienced teachers have radar for when ‘the chompies’ are in the air and become particularly vigilant.

If all adults involved in a biting incident are convinced that it was not an isolated but willful, premeditated event, both children should be kept safe. Adults should explore the language of what went on and be able to offer alternative responses.

Finally, it bears stating – parents should never bite children back. Believe me, I understand the impulse, but all you accomplish is establishing mutual violence as an acceptable value in your family, embarrassing yourself, and degrading the natural authority you have with your children. They want your help with this stuff, not your indulgence.

Tags: Biting, Early childhood development, Preschool, Toddlers
Posted in Dr. Kyle Pruett, Preschool | No Comments »

Integrating Emotion & Learning in Everyday Moments

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Excerpt from Me, Myself and I

Your own ideas about how to integrating emotion and learning in everyday moments with your child are probably better than anything I could advise for you personally. But here are some ideas and suggestions that might help you customize those ideas.

Talk with your child. Hopefully, you have been doing that since the moment she was born. Chat with her about what you and she are doing. She’ll become part of the conversation sooner if you express to her what you love about being a parent.

Encourage curiosity and understand that repetition is a good thing for him, boring though it might be for you. The neurological basis for the insistence on the familiar lies in the fact that when synaptic connections are repeatedly activated by the same stimulation, they become immune from elimination during the brain’s pruning process. They survive to become permanent neural connections that enhance learning. So go ahead and do what your child likes – over and over. This is a good rut to be in.

Simply being nearby and available while your child plays on his own is so important, as is your willingness to interact. So get down on the floor and stay awhile. Of course, this is hard for working parents, but the effort is worth it.

Nothing beats reading. Children don’t learn interactive, conversational language from TV because it does not respond to them. Language and eventually reading are learned from being actively engaged in speaking and reading with others – hearing parents and caregivers talk to each other and waiting for the child to respond.

Children learn best in the context of their daily lives and when the amount and kind of stimulation fits their temperament, level of development, interests or preferences, and mood. Pressure to perform or conform to high expectations can lead to stress that can sabotage learning through burnout and confusion.

Young children do not need to be taught how to think. Science is careening ahead pursuing fascinating findings and ideas about how, even whether, children this age actually do think. But our ignorance dominates our knowledge embarrassingly. We are still understanding why they even want to think in the first place. It is like walking or talking, unfolding in due course when the maturational timekeeper tells the mind-body duality, “Johnny: it’s time?”

The five-second check-in. Since most of us don’t spend our days staring endlessly at our toddlers and preschoolers, it is important that you take a few seconds to assess the mood, or state your child is in before you join in his doings, ask him to do something or simply interrupt him. This is the feeling state that will determine his ability to understand or comply with whatever you might need, no matter how small. If you are not tuned in, he probably won’t hear (i.e. learn).

Join your child. Follow her lead in activities she is already involved in. Don’t take over – it will turn her off. But if you want her to learn, become a partner in the exploration she has begun. Add a ball to hide in the pots and pans scene, or move close and take her hand if she is wary of a dog on a walk. Don’t instantly rescue (unless safety is an immediate concern) because you will lose one of those interesting moments of tension that could be mastered, leading a child to a wider, more complex understanding of the world.

If your child balks at a “learning” moment with you, it could mean you didn’t read the five-second check-in right. Back up and let your child know you know what she is feeling first. (“I guess you weren’t quite through,” or “It’s hard to have to stop when you are having fun doing X.”) When the feeling domain feels appreciated, then the learning domain is less burdened.

If your child needs redirection after you have connected with his mood or feeling, ask softly what he might enjoy doing. If you still have no luck make two suggestions of things he might do and help him choose. He will probably need some pump-priming from you, since you can manage your own mood apart from his. Remember, how you are in such moments, is as important as what you do.

If it’s important for you to initiate an activity that will bring you pleasure and you know it could be good for your child, like reading or going for a walk, stabilize your own mood first. Only then can you help your child regulate hers. Once done, then she can crawl up on your lap or get out the door and learn. For some kids, it’s the other way around. But for the majority, in the feeling and learning dance, it isn’t always possible to say who is leading.

Tags: Early childhood development, Emotion and Learning, Learning through Play, Playing with your child, Preschool
Posted in Dr. Kyle Pruett, Tips | No Comments »

Pack a Healthy Lunch…that your child will enjoy!

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Introduce your children to healthy eating by involving them in the lunch preparation. Children have a tendency to eat and try new foods that they helped to prepare. And children who help in the kitchen build their confidence which makes them feel important and proud.

Avoid brown bag boredom and try the following healthy, easy and fun options. Bonus – your children will want to eat these choices!

Turn lunch into an adventure:

Cut sandwiches into playful shapes with cookie cutters. Children are more excited about eating a star- or dinosaur-shaped sandwich because it makes the experience fun! Choose cheese or deli meats to replace breads and cut them into fun shapes, too.

Make lunch fun by including a dip:

Yogurt is a great dip for fruit.
Provide hummus for veggies.

Use a variety of ‘sandwich’ options:

Bagels, pita bread, wheat wraps or crackers.

Consider packing applesauce or yogurt as a treat in lieu of a ‘sweet’ dessert.

Tags: Lunch at school, Packing lunch, Preschool
Posted in Nutrition, Tips | 1 Comment »

What Your Child Learns Through Play

Friday, February 12th, 2010

There are a myriad of developmental skills that children learn through play. From their infant to Pre-Kindergarten stages, children are experiencing and learning new things each and every day. With play consuming most of their time, there are different things children learn during every stage of their growth.

Infant to Six Months: Everything is a baby’s first. For example, the first time a baby opens his eyes in his bassinet, he discovers something new – an animal on his mobile. The next morning, there it is again. Will it be there tomorrow? Yes, and then baby learns to trust that when he opens his eyes he will always see the mobile’s giraffe looking back at him. Babies will engage in play first by responding to sounds, then by following objects and people with their eyes. Your baby will demonstrate his memory by repeating an action that made you laugh yesterday. Once infants can hold a rattle a whole new world opens up – you will watch them turn it over, bang it, shake it and even taste it. Rolling over also widens a baby’s world from what is placed before him to 360 degrees of eye-catching curiosity. The new world is fun.

Six Months to One Year: Baby is now his own driving force to play. He no longer needs an adult or older sibling to spark his interest. Rolling over and sitting up has created choices and as he discovers how to move from lying to sitting, he is covering ground and taking aim at his own source of interest. Place toys within and outside of your baby’s reach to encourage self-discovery and motion. Your child is brilliant and will look at a familiar object when called by name. Babies not only want to turn objects around, they want to talk to them and use them the way you tell them to use them. See my hands! You say “clap” with a smile on your face and baby wants to clap and smile, too.

First Steps (12 to 18 months): No longer a baby, a First Stepper “steps” into everything. A First Step child will play with water, smell a flower (which is not as easy as you think) and recognize animals like the ones from the mobile. He will join in the conversation with simple words and phrases and respond to “bye, bye,” with an unsolicited wave. One-year-olds love to demonstrate their knowledge – they will point to anything you name and find body parts, like their ears, when they cannot even see them. They have learned to trust their own experiences with their ears. Your one-year-old will play with you and imitate your actions. Watch your child reflect your love a baby doll with “hugs and kisses” and help you the way you have guided him.

Toddler (18-30 months): A toddler’s world is all about ME – “Me do it”! This demonstration of independence is an exercise in trusting the child’s own limits. A toddler will speak on a play phone and answer questions such as “Why?” and “Where?” Playing is on his terms – when and how. Toddlers love new experiences, too. They have graduated from ‘turning it over and tasting it’ to doing it right. A toddler will put a puzzle together, hold crayons in his hand, hum and sing as he plays, and join activities without prompting. Give your toddler plenty of opportunities to join in imaginary play – pour from one cup to another and manipulate play dough.

Get Set (30 to 36 months): Just like the name states, get set for more play. The Get Set child is truly developing an identity. He knows his own name – first and last – and can tell you where his friends are playing. Get Setters know ‘they can do it’ and want to be like adults. They will share and wait turns, communicate in short sentences and demonstrate their personal understanding of the world around them in their play. Get Set children will soak up any information you share with them. They can understand words like “under” and “over” and the description of how a plant grows. Art is no longer about exploring the material itself, but rather what they can do with the material. They will even paint with the opposite side of the paint brush just to see what it will create. Get set for your child to amaze you with his knowledge of good hygiene and specific book choices. A Get Set child can also multi-task now; try singing and doing the motions to the song or have a conversation while he paints.

Preschool (36 months +): This is the age of expectations. The preschool child’s play looks like going to work. As he mingles among the Interest Centers he is also playing out a role. Preschoolers have a large vocabulary and understand the intonations of language. As they act out a role, they will try on different emotions and see how they fit into their own personality. Preschoolers have begun to connect the spoken word to written language and can orally retell a favorite story. They are interested in cause and effect and can identify their colors, shapes, sizes and weights; and they want to explore what happens when they change them. A preschool child may remain in a particular Interest Center for long periods of time until he has exhausted his curiosity. Don’t forget to stand back because the preschool child also needs his space to move. Watch as he develops rhythm and tempo as both an individual or group learner. Either way, preschoolers are movers and shakers.

Pre-Kindergarten (48 months +): Complexity is the nature of the Pre-K classroom. Pre-Kindergarteners are complex social beings wanting to play with specific friends and still identifying when they want to do it alone. They can recognize how objects and people are the same and different simultaneously, and they can appreciate those attributes. Playing is beginning to turn into concepts. For instance, all of the exploration at the water table develops into an understanding of water – floating, sinking, absorbing, dissolving, etc. Pre-K children use their four years of play experience to develop an identifiable knowledge – they can match by relationships and verbalize invisible concepts, such as time and calendars. They no longer need to see or hold the toy to play; they can recall previous experiences and use the knowledge. While listening to music they can name the instrument, move to the beat and sing along. In Pre-K, phonemic awareness and the written word are magical – writing words is play.

Tags: Early childhood development, Infant, Learning through Play, Pre-Kindergarten, Preschool, Toddlers
Posted in Learning through Play | No Comments »

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